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Having attended and taught in small, rural, midwestern schools, I had a clear picture in mind of the type of school and community I sought for beginning my administrative career. I found a quaint and pleasant midwestern community of approximately 1,500 people. The idyllic, almost stereotypical picture included a main street, complete with a grocery store, hardware store, and a venerable Carnegie library. The town’s residents could choose chicken or carry out pizza from any one of the three convenience stores, or opt for a tenderloin and a beer at one of the three taverns. On Sundays, the five local churches were packed, just like the football bleachers and gymnasium on game night, regardless of the quality of the teams from year to year. This essay details my experience as a small, rural school principal through a high school student’s coming out to his family, school, and community. The lessons learned as he made his sexual orientation known touched many who’d not before actively considered the issue of homosexuality in general, and certainly not on their sidewalks and in their classrooms. The essay presents a case study in which the student, his classmates, teachers, and community members, faced an issue that had existed elsewhere. In other schools, large ones. On television and movies. It had not been openly present in their world. It reveals shocking and intriguing realities not likely anticipated in this, and presumably other schools and communities. Research was conducted using telephone and face-to-face interviews, and a number of guided questions. I interviewed the student in question, classmates, faculty members, family members, and members of the community. Faculty I interviewed were those who’d been directly involved with the student’s experience as a classroom teacher, counselor or sponsor of extra-curricular activities. Students interviewed had all attended an upper division science course together during the student’s coming out and had been identified by the student as key individuals with whom I should talk. Background “Pete,” the pseudonym I will employ in this account, was a third generation member of a local family. He had attended the school, which had enrollment at the time of around 525 students K-12, since kindergarten. Though a natural athlete, computers and technology drew his attention more than athletics or music. Pete was a polite, personable, articulate young man who was neither a troublemaker nor a teacher’s pet. He was, in many ways, an average small town high school student, if there is such a thing. In the fall of his senior year, Pete began to come out to a small group of friends. At his request, they kept the circle of people in the know very small and very quiet, although this was surely a challenge in his town of 1,500, high school of 160 and senior class of 38. During the same time, Pete was utilizing his computer skills to communicate with the guidance counselor about his feelings. In the frequent and numerous exchanges, their communication consisted of Pete’s gradual process of moving toward a point where he announced and acknowledged his homosexuality, or “came out,” to the guidance counselor. As principal, I was at this time “aware” of these exchanges, as the counselor and I worked closely with the same students on a daily basis, dealing with academics, behavior issues, family difficulties, attendance, and the multitude of other duties that intertwine counselors and principals, particularly in a small rural school. I tried to make it my practice to know about the myriad of issues, inside of school and out, that intercede to make working with students such a complicated art. Thankfully, I had the benefit of a first class guidance counselor who was concerned with every student and every family. She, unlike many others I’d seen, spent her time actually counseling students (and teachers), rather than merely arranging the master schedule and ACT. She saw the big picture for every student and understood how closely the worlds of principal and guidance counselor are related. As the fall and winter gave way to spring, rumors that Pete might bring his partner to the junior-senior Prom began making the rounds. Over the years, many people had laughed and remarked that Pete would one day have to find a way to top his father’s exit from the high school. (His father, according to one of the more memorable school legends, had ridden a motorbike down the hall on the last day of his senior year.) Some claimed to have heard Pete say he would think of something. On a delightfully warm April day in my office, the counselor and I were chatting informally when she told me that Pete had informed her that he indeed planned to invite his partner to the prom. My knee jerk response was almost immediate. She would, I told her, “have to talk him out of it." My fear and frustration centered on my looming concerns about the potential uproar and emotional response that might result. After reflecting on the events that followed, as well as thorough research with players in the series of events, I’m now keenly aware of the selfish nature of my initial reaction. My overriding desire for the counselor to talk him out of inviting his partner to the prom came not from a personal, religious, or moral view of homosexuality itself. Rather, its origin was purely managerial and administrative. I simply didn’t think our school and community was ready to handle the issue. I felt certain it could derail the last few weeks of the school year and produce a distracted, if not chaotic, uncomfortable, if not dangerous environment. The prom at the school, like many others, is not merely a school event. It is a community event. Parents, grandparents, friends and the curious turn out on the sidewalk to see the usually t-shirt clad students transformed by tuxedos and sequined dresses. The students are, in true promenade fashion, announced as they enter the building where the parent-prepared meal and dance are held. As administrators and sponsors of the event, we found ourselves in that familiar but unpleasant place in which our formal training in education seemed of little value. Although my initial wish had been for the counselor to dissuade Pete from attending the prom with his partner, disallowing his attendance was never considered, suggested, or discussed among our administrative team. We had, however, wrangled with curious but crucial details, such as how to introduce Pete and his group, which consisted of his partner and another boy and girl. As it occurred, we simply announced the names of the four attendees, and they entered the building without incident or insult. The school, like every other, has a number of traditions that might seem odd to an outsider. One at this school involves note passing during the meal before the prom. Here, the upperclassmen write notes to their classmates and have them delivered by the underclassmen, who make up the wait staff for the meal. About halfway through the meal, one of the guests in Pete’s party brought me a handful of notes that had been delivered to their table. All were completely inappropriate and out of line. I immediately thought of the worst-case scenarios of what might happen at our prom and I was mad to the quick. My initial reaction was to take the microphone and deliver a harsh tongue lashing to the students. I’m glad, however, that I didn’t, as I’m sure now it would have only called more attention to Pete, his guests, and the whole issue. When I asked his opinion, a trusted teacher suggested that I tell the wait staff to not deliver other notes to Pete’s table. I took his advice and we were able to stop the notes. This may seem to be an administrative dodge of the issue and a reluctance to address the problem. At the time, however, there was no way to determine the source of the notes and I was convinced that the authors had seen the guest deliver them to me as well as my anger. The decision protected Pete and his guests and let the prom continue. I think the authors knew my view and were sure they’d be leaving if I identified them. A few intolerants shouldn’t be able to destroy the atmosphere for Pete and the rest of his classmates who hoped to enjoy a major high school event. Aside from the notes, we experienced no problems. Different as they were, Pete and his partner danced, embraced, kissed, and attended the prom in basically the same fashion as did their counterparts, although they certainly attracted more attention in doing so. During the evening, I was struck by the extent to which Pete and his out of school guest seemed to be welcomed by a number of students. I didn’t really observe the others openly greeting or welcoming his partner in an overt way. Instead, they seemed to communicate both curiosity and hospitality (tolerance?) by simply smiling or watching. Very subtle, I thought. While this took place, students whom I thought were potentially hostile, seemed taken back. To be sure, some parents in the kitchen and students in the dancehall did not approve of what they saw and were uncomfortable. For whatever reason, however, there would be no violence, threats, intimidation, or cat calling, as I had feared there might be. The chaperones called upon their relationships with all students to help create an atmosphere in which it was clear that such behavior would not be an option. The spring wore on, and shortly after the prom we received notification that Pete had been selected as one of three recipients in the state of a Matthew Shepard Scholarship, privately funded in honor and memory of the college student in Wyoming who was the victim of an anti-gay hate murder. Again, we found ourselves struggling with seemingly simple but potentially explosive issues like where in the program to place the award, and “what exactly, is the presenter from the capital city going to say?” We were also very concerned that an infamous preacher and religious protest group would protest the award, as they were demonstrating at another school’s awards assembly not far away. Our concerns were magnified by the fact that law enforcement in our rural community was provided by the county sheriff, some 19 miles away. Thankfully, the ceremony proceeded without a hitch, insult, or protest, although the presentation of Pete’s full-ride scholarship attracted the attention of some audience members who’d tuned out some of the other presenters. Graduation day found Pete and his 37 classmates marching across the stage and onto the school lawn for the traditional reception line, just as they always did. Again, no insults, intimidation, or trouble. Pete would later recount, however, that he was denied a few handshakes in the reception line that formed every year on the school lawn after the ceremony. Most of these slights, he recalls, came from parents and community people, who greeted those standing near Pete, but managed to slide past without shaking his hand. He also suspects that some of these folks might have been secretly embarrassed by skipping him. Having traversed a tense, uncertain, and unknown issue for several months, the sense of relief for me was measurable, to say the least. Results of Research After several months of reflection, I could not fully reconcile why my fears and predictions about what would result were so inaccurate. As principal, I had really tried to emphasize knowing the community and all of our students. I wanted to have a deep and full understanding of the issues and undercurrents below the surface in our school. The issue had come and gone without the dreadful incidents that, just a few months earlier, had caused me to hope that the counselor could dissuade Pete from coming out. I needed an explanation. Thus, I began conducting one-to-one interviews with Pete and a number of players in the situation. Using snowball or network sampling, I asked Pete to suggest persons whom I should interview. The individuals interviewed ranged from veteran teachers, community members, to clergy, students, and family members. Just as likening the community to Mayberry was not an exaggeration, calling my findings amazing would not be an exaggeration, either. Virtually every participant interviewed said they would have predicted a very difficult situation. From threats, to vandalism, to violence, to complete disruption of the educational environment, the consensus was that, similar to my initial reaction, the school and community weren’t ready for this. In working to determine why predictions were so inaccurate, respondents offered a number of possibilities. Some indicated that, since they’d known Pete for such a long time, his coming out really didn’t change things. Others pointed to the way “he wasn’t in anyone’s face about it.” Others surmised that hostile students simply feared getting into trouble if they initiated conflict or harassment. Some others recalled how, like at the prom, some students communicated support, acceptance, tolerance, in a largely non-verbal manner. These participants recalled how students, many of them female, still sat with Pete at lunch and talked with him in the hallway. They recalled an informal message that said that anyone wanting to harass would have to do so in a socially risky environment. Still others hypothesized that since Pete was not involved in athletics or music, other students were less threatened. Had he been in a position to take away their prized role in athletics, arts, or music, he might have been received very differently, they speculated. The most revealing finding of the inquiry, however, resembles an iceberg. Just as we learn in elementary science, most of the iceberg is below the surface and might not be visible. The extent to which other issues streamed below the surface of this issue was no less than astounding, even to a principal who thought he was especially in tune and aware of his high school of only 130 students. The iceberg theme centered on the senior physics class. In stereotypical rural school fashion, six high achieving students signed up for physics, taught by a veteran staff member who was a student favorite, though thought by many to be out of touch. One by one, the students in the physics class whom Pete had suggested I interview revealed amazing and unexpected things about their senior spring. To my astonishment, Pete was not the big story. Each student in the class was, obviously very capable academically. They represented the top few spots in the class, each maintaining a four-point average, or very close. In addition, the students represented some of the best and brightest extra-curricular talent. They were some of the most gifted artists, athletes, musicians, and student leaders, in addition to their academic prowess. Despite their having the world-by-the-tail appearance, each was struggling with very difficult challenges of growing up and moving on from the school and community that most had known all their lives. Each found him/herself supporting and relating to Pete as they wrestled with their own obstacles; obstacles that ran the gamut from relationships to parent expectations, to peer pressure, to suicidal ideation. One by one, top-drawer students related how they found support from one another during physics laboratories. Pete’s athletic, muscular friend related the difficulties of, amid many questions, remaining true to a friend. “Michelle,” a teacher’s daughter, described how she felt ostracized for choosing not to attend beer parties. “Laurie” recalled dealing with anti-Semitism when, after losing her parents, came from a western state to be raised by her parents’ best friends. “Krystal” explained the perils of not identifying with the mainstream clique or small town athletics. Unexpectedly, the students found themselves sharing issues and struggles they’d kept largely hidden, even in their close-knit senior class. “Chris” was the son of a teacher, and, in a word, brilliant. His brilliant intellect, however, was coupled with social difficulties that were alarming. The class and teacher were exceedingly concerned about Chris and his potential for suicide. The teacher and students were, on a daily basis, expressing their concerns to the guidance counselor, who in turn, worked closely with Chris and his family. In interviews, the students and teachers described how, before the physics class, they had not really known each other well, despite their tiny senior class of 38. As Chris related the potentially life and death issues with which he struggled, each student revealed their own heretofore hidden struggles. Not surprisingly, the veteran teacher was more in tune to the situation in his class than any of the students knew. Recognizing that this spring was not a normal semester, he felt the operation of his classroom had to be adjusted. The veteran teacher acknowledged that physics took a back seat to the issues each of the students faced, noting that before, he’d been, “unaware of the depths of the (students’) emotions. Outwardly, they appeared to be rolling along.” After establishing that events in our school did not match anyone’s predictions for what might have occurred, I explored factors that might have made the situation different. The ideas, like the other revelations from the study, are thought provoking for teachers and administrators. Some respondents hypothesized that the situation might have matched their predictions more closely if Pete had not been a long time member of the school and stereotypically close-knit community. Others theorized that things might have been different if he “acted more gay.” Some felt that events might have been different if the school had different student leadership. Some wondered about the effects had Pete’s partner been a student in this school, rather than another district. Conclusions and Implications The conclusions and implications for this experience and research are numerous and far reaching. The findings underscore the urgency that teachers, administrators, and all involved with school children seek to know students on a deeper level. These successful, high achieving, seemingly well-adjusted students revealed that they are not as sanguine as their appearance and achievement suggests. This research demonstrates that, despite small numbers and an experienced, thoughtful staff, even the most perceptive professionals may overlook issues that are of paramount importance to the well being of students. Responsibility to build understanding relationships with students rests with all, from teachers and administrators to cooks and custodians. Second, it underscores the importance of teacher and administrator preparation programs evolving to adequately prepare future educators to be attuned to key elements in their classrooms, which includes much more than standards and benchmarks. Sometimes physics, fractions, and the War of 1812 take a back seat to other issues. Sometimes they should. Sometimes they must. Teachers and administrators must constantly be aware of their students’ beliefs, biases, interests, and tendencies. From master schedules to seating charts, we need to know where to find times and places in which there might be trouble. Next, it reminds us of the responsibility of developing and implementing mission and vision statements that we can and will live by, especially when faced with a difficult, controversial, and unanticipated issue. We must not suddenly adopt and implement anti-harassment policies because our school now has a minority or unique student. We must live it, all the time. The revelations remind us of the essential challenge of guarding against personal biases. Our task is to educate everyone who comes through the door, not to focus selfishly on what might make our jobs as teachers or administrators easiest. The students in the physics class prove that, while they represent a portrait of success on the outside, none finds it particularly easy to achieve, maintain, or embody. Finally, the findings call attention to an alarming, though not altogether surprising lack of research, especially in the rural setting. To begin the journey toward an understanding of this issue, its setting, and all the inherent complexities, further inquiry is urgently needed. 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